It was a regular Tuesday evening in the dimly lit office of FAANG Co, where the Dev Team was putting in another weekend’s worth of work. Eyes bloodshot, marriages teetering on the brink of divorce, and mental health hanging by a thread, they were coding their way to digital glory. And why? To meet those arbitrary deadlines, of course! You know, the ones make as much sense as pineapple on pizza.
Enter the Boss, suited, booted, and ready to head home to his picture-perfect family: a loving wife, two-point-five kids, and a dog that doesn’t chew the furniture. He’s got it all figured out, folks!
“Eat up, champs! You need your energy for the next sprint,” he exclaimed, a smirk on his face. The room froze for a moment, a collective eye-roll barely concealed. “You guys are the best!” And with that, he vanished, leaving behind a bewildered team, staring at a stack of cardboard boxes filled with Sal’s Sloppy Slices.
“Great,” muttered Sarah, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Nothing says ‘I value you’ like pizza from Sal’s. Might as well serve us divorce papers with a side of therapy.“
“Hey, at least it’s not cold sandwiches,” Tim said. His marriage, like the pizza, was also questionable.
The pizza sat there. Its greasy mediocrity is a perfect metaphor for how the team felt. The developers returned to their screens, biting into rubbery slices, pondering life choices, and thinking about explaining another missed family dinner.
Meanwhile, the Boss was enjoying a gourmet meal, oblivious to the emotional ruin he’d left behind. His toast? “To sprint towards success, one slice of Sal’s at a time!”
And so, the devs soldiered on, their stomachs filled with subpar pizza, their hearts longing for understanding, and their minds wandering to a place where deadlines made sense and bosses knew the difference between gourmet and greasy.
If you ever find yourself in the coding trenches, remember: Sal’s Sloppy Slices may be on the menu, but you can always choose to pack your dinner. Or better yet, find a boss who knows good pizza! Now, that’s a sprint worth running!