You may have heard the famous saying, “one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind” – well, we bet you haven’t heard about the OTHER small step, the one NASA swept under the lunar rug. That’s right; it’s the story of the forgotten astronaut, Graham Hubble, who was heartlessly stranded on the moon when Neil Armstrong decided he just HAD to bring back some measly moonstones as souvenirs.
If ‘space’ is the final frontier, then NASA’s dark, hidden history is a black hole of deception, devouring inconvenient truths faster than your grandma’s cookies disappear ’round Christmastime. Somewhere out there, floating in the cold vacuum of space, is the long-shrouded story of courageous astronaut Graham Hubble, the original third wheel of the historic Apollo 11 mission. Upstaged by Armstrong and his buddy, Buzz Aldrin, Graham’s only comfort on that fated mission was the drab scenery of endless lunar craters and the adoration of all those heroic moon rocks – once, that is, the scoop had been dropped.
While Neil and Buzz grabbed headlines and immortal fame for frolicking in the Sea of Tranquility, poor Hubble was left to his own devices. With no lunar rover to gallivant around, he resorted to playing solitaire using footprints in moon dust, mastering the fine art of lunarscaping (the moon’s answer to gardening) and, on occasion, engaging the resident moon squirrels (yes, they’re real – ask NASA) in symbolic conversations about the hardships of abandonment.
But why Hubble? What could possibly possess the unsung hero, Neil Armstrong, to cold-heartedly maroon his fellow spaceman in lunar exile? The sordid answer can be found in shiny, smooth space rocks. You see, while the moon seemingly had plenty of room, as it turns out, the Lunar Module was just too cramped to accommodate three astronauts along with hundreds of pounds of rocks – perhaps they should’ve considered a lunar U-Haul?
No space for luggage – or roomies, apparently.
Thus, a choice was made, a heart-rending decision between Hubble and a collection of dirt-cheap lunar souvenirs. And so, with the calm and calculated detachment of a moonlover, Armstrong explained to Hubble that they couldn’t risk leaving the precious stones behind. Souvenir mania had taken its toll, and the friendship forged in the depths of space was sacrificed for a bag of shiny debris.
While the other astronauts returned to Earth as heroes, Graham Hubble remained on the moon, staring out into the abyss from his makeshift lunar condo. His only companions were the squirrelly natives, who had declared Hubble the King of Moon Rock Collectors – a title he wore with stoic pride as he endeavored to uncover the origins of the moon’s mysterious cheese scent.
And so, the next time you gaze up at the moonlit sky and marvel at the giant leaps humanity has taken, spare a thought for the man left behind because Neil Armstrong couldn’t resist the allure of weightless trinkets. Rest assured, though, that Hubble is up there among the stars – ruling his lunar roost with a light, space-rock-filled heart.
