MySpace, the once-dominant social network relegated to the annals of internet history, has reemerged to ask what everybody was thinking: “Do you miss us yet?”
As Facebook continues to spiral out of control with privacy scandals, political propaganda, and an endless stream of cringe-worthy posts from your aunt, users have begun to long for the simpler days of MySpace.
“We may have been the butt of jokes for years, but at least we didn’t have Russian bots spreading fake news on our platform,” said Tom, the MySpace mascot who is apparently still employed.
But MySpace isn’t content to rest on its nostalgia-tinged laurels. The site has undergone a major overhaul, with a sleek design and many new features. “We’ve got everything Facebook has, plus the ability to customize your page with animated GIFs and glitter text,” said Tom with a sly grin.
And while Facebook continues to alienate users with algorithm-driven feeds and a never-ending stream of ads, MySpace is taking a different approach. “We want to bring the social back to social media,” said Tom. “That’s why we’re limiting the number of ads you’ll see to, well, zero.”
So if you’re tired of the constant drama and nonsense on Facebook, it’s time to give MySpace another chance. As Tom put it, “We may have been the first social network you ever used, but we’re determined to be the last one you ever need.”
