Silicon Valley, CA – In a move that has left industry experts scratching their heads and ’80s enthusiasts dancing in the streets, streaming giant Netflix has announced plans to bring back the defunct electronics chain RadioShack. The company is aware that they’ll probably cancel the stores shortly after, just like most of their original content.
Netflix’s CEO, Reed Hastings, held a press conference yesterday outside a former RadioShack location, which has since become a vape shop. “We understand that our subscribers have an insatiable appetite for nostalgia, and we are excited to cater to that by resurrecting RadioShack stores across the nation,” Hastings declared while sporting a vintage RadioShack windbreaker.
The new RadioShack stores will feature an assortment of obsolete technology, including cassette players, rotary phones, and dial-up modems. In true Netflix fashion, they will also offer exclusive, limited-time merchandise such as “Stranger Things”-inspired walkie-talkies and “The Crown” branded antennas.
In an interview with a top Netflix executive, who asked to remain anonymous, we learned that the company has no intention of keeping the stores open for over a few months. “Look, we just want to give our subscribers what they want – a fleeting dose of nostalgia before we rip it away from them, just like we did with ‘Sense8’ and ‘The OA’,” the executive revealed.
The RadioShack revival will kick off with a star-studded grand opening featuring performances by the cast of “GLOW” (a show they cancelled) and an exclusive appearance by the Upside-Down monster from “Stranger Things.” However, the excitement will likely be short-lived, as Netflix announced they will cancel the RadioShack stores shortly after the grand opening.
To soften the blow of the inevitable cancellations, Netflix has promised to provide all RadioShack employees with a complimentary three-month subscription to the streaming service. “We want to show our gratitude to the hardworking staff of RadioShack, and what better way to do that than by giving them the gift of binge-watching?” said Hastings. At the same time, a group of soon-to-be-unemployed RadioShack workers looked on in disbelief.
Social media has been buzzing with mixed reactions to the announcement. While some users are ecstatic about the return of RadioShack, others are already mourning its impending demise. One user tweeted, “Can’t wait to buy a pager at the new RadioShack and then watch it go out of business again while bingeing ‘You’ #FullCircle.”
So, if you’re eager to relive the glory days of shopping for VCRs and overpriced batteries, visit your local RadioShack as soon as it reopens. Just don’t get too attached because, in true Netflix fashion, it’ll be gone before you know it.
