It’s that time again, folks! The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and your crippling seasonal allergies are back in full swing. But don’t let that stop you from enjoying the great outdoors – or at least your backyard – with these 10 absurdly crafted beers just begging to be chugged down this summer.
- “Pineapple Persuasion” – Brewed by the ever-innovative team at Tropical Torment Brewery, this beer is infused with enough pineapple to make SpongeBob SquarePants consider relocating. With its 5% ABV, it’s the perfect brew to sip as you contemplate why you even bother with sunscreen anymore.
- “Sunset Sipper” – Hailing from the prestigious West Coast Sunset Brewing Company, this easy-drinking IPA promises to drown you in hoppy goodness as you watch the sun dip below the horizon. At a whopping 8.5% ABV, you might find yourself dipping below the horizon too.
- “Lawn Mower Lager” – Brought to you by the brilliant minds at Suburban Bliss Brewing, this light, crisp lager is perfect for downing after a long day of mowing the lawn or pretending to mow the lawn so you can have an excuse to drink. At 4.2% ABV, you can enjoy several without accidentally trimming your neighbor’s prized rose bushes.
- “Beach Bum Blonde” – Crafted by the sand-loving folks at Coastal Craze Brewery, this delightful blonde ale is designed to be enjoyed while lounging on the beach or desperately trying to vacuum the sand out of your car’s upholstery. At 5.5% ABV, it’s a refreshing choice for those hot, sweaty days when even the ice cream truck seems to be mocking you.
- “Mosquito Bite Brown Ale” – A unique creation by the bug enthusiasts at Bloodsucker Brewing, this brown ale is brewed with real mosquito larvae – for that authentic summer experience. With a 6.1% ABV, you’ll be too buzzed to care about the incessant itching.
- “Grill Master’s Delight” – Born in the fiery pits of Backyard BBQ Brewery, this smoked porter is infused with the essence of charred meats and just a hint of burnt apron. At 7.3% ABV, it’s the perfect companion for standing next to a flaming grill and wishing you knew how to cook.
- “Poolside Pilsner” – The brainchild of the water-loving team at Splash Zone Brewing, this pilsner is designed to be sipped while splashing around in your kiddie pool or trying to inflate your inflatable flamingo. With a 4.8% ABV, it’s a refreshing break from convincing yourself that cold hose water is just as good as a real pool.
- “Tan Line Lager” – A masterpiece by the sun-worshipping brewers at Bronzed Beauty Brewery, this lager is the ultimate ode to awkward tan lines and sunburned shoulders. At 4.5% ABV, it’s light enough to enjoy while you slather on aloe vera and promise yourself you’ll never forget the sunscreen again.
- “Sweating Buckets Stout” – A bold creation by the heat-loving folks at Scorching Summer Brewing, this stout is brewed with a hint of ghost pepper to drive home that summer heat. With a 7.1% ABV, it’s perfect for sipping as you question why you ever thought summer was a good idea in the first place.
- “Frosty’s Demise” – A dark, twisted brew by the evil geniuses at Winter’s End Brewing, this barleywine is a hearty 12% ABV – the perfect way to bid farewell to your beloved snowman as he melts away in the summer sun. Drink up, and remember: winter is only a few short months away.
Drink responsibly, and cheers!
