Self-proclaimed “pure” vegan was caught on camera purchasing a bag of illegal MDMA pills, made in a bathtub, at a club later tonight. The individual, who wishes to remain anonymous, has long been known for their strict adherence to a vegan diet, refusing to consume anything that contains trace amounts of animal products or anything deemed “unnatural.”
But sources close to the individual report that they have a dirty little secret: a love for the club scene and a penchant for taking illegal drugs.
“I just can’t resist the allure of the underground club scene and the rush of taking illegal drugs,” said the individual, who was also spotted chomping on a piece of gum containing xylitol, an artificial sweetener. “It’s like, I know it’s bad for me, but I just can’t help myself.“
When confronted about the hypocrisy of their actions, the individual shrugged and remarked, “I mean, I still brush my teeth with baking soda and water, so I’m still pretty pure.“
This revelation has sent shockwaves through the vegan community, with many questioning the motivations behind the individual’s dietary choices. “Is it really about ethics and the environment, or is it just about looking good and feeling superior to others?” said one disillusioned vegan.
Ultimately, it seems that even the most devout vegans have their vices. And for this individual, it’s a love for illegal drugs and the club scene. Let this be a lesson to us all: no one is perfect, not even vegans.
