The world of rock and roll was rocked to its core recently when Ozzy Osbourne announced that he would no longer tour and instead be embracing the life of a full-time corporate sellout. The Prince of Darkness wasted no time getting started on his new venture, with his first gig as a sellout being a commercial for the upcoming PlayStation VR 2.
“I’m excited to embrace my inner corporate shill,” Osbourne said. “I’ve given my all to music. Now it’s time to give my all to selling things. And let me tell you, the paycheck is pretty sweet.“
The commercial features the rock legend wearing the VR headset and exclaiming how it’s like being inside his own head – a fitting nod to the many antics that he’s become known for.
Fans of the rocker were shocked and saddened by the news, with many expressing disappointment that Osbourne was abandoning his rebellious roots.
“I can’t believe Ozzy has gone full corporate sellout,” said one fan. “I mean, I get it – he’s getting older and wants to make money. But I miss the old Ozzy who would bite the heads off of bats, not sell video games.“
As for Osbourne, he seems to be embracing his new role and has hinted at future sellout ventures, including a line of “bat energy drinks” and a reality TV show about his family’s adventures in corporate branding.
“I’m looking forward to my new life as a sellout,” said Osbourne. “Who knows, maybe I’ll even start wearing a suit and tie. It’s all about the paycheck now, baby.“
