In a stunning display of raw power and unbridled rock and roll energy, Anthony Kiedis, lead singer of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, shocked the nation yesterday by jump-starting a car with nothing but his nipples and a few choice lyrics from the band’s hit song “Californication.”
According to eyewitnesses, Kiedis, who was on his way to a concert in Los Angeles, came across a stranded motorist whose car had died on the side of the road. Without hesitation, the rocker leapt into action, attaching jumper cables to his nipples and belting out the opening verse of “Californication” at a deafening volume.
To the amazement of onlookers, the car’s engine roared to life, its headlights shining bright like the burning passion in Kiedis’ soul.
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” said local mechanic Joe Smith. “I’ve jump started cars with all kinds of things – batteries, generators, even a toaster once – but I’ve never seen someone do it with their nipples and a song about California.“
Even Elon Musk, seemingly impressed by the display of renewable power, commended Kiedis on Twitter by saying, “Wow, that’s some serious renewable energy! Anthony Kiedis is truly a rockstar in every sense of the word. #NipplePower“
The incident has sparked a nationwide debate about the true capabilities of the human body and the power of rock and roll. Some have even called for Kiedis to be awarded a Nobel Prize in physics for his revolutionary discovery.
When reached for comment, Kiedis was humble as always, “I was just doing what any true rockstar would do in a time of need, saving the day with a little bit of electricity and a lot of soul.“
The Red Hot Chili Peppers are on tour and scheduled to play next in Phoenix, Arizona. In preparation for the show, Anthony Kiedis has been using his nipples to charge his guitar, microphone and keyboard.
