After years of speculation and investigation, a group of cryptocurrency enthusiasts were able to track down the elusive Nakamoto in a small, unremarkable house in the suburbs. And there, sitting in front of a computer, surrounded by empty pizza boxes and energy drink cans, was none other than Jerry Smith, a 34-year-old IT consultant who had been working on a personal project.
“I can’t believe it,” said Smith, wiping the Doritos crumbs from his keyboard. “I had no idea my little hobby would turn into something so huge. But now that it has, I’m kind of wishing I had kept better track of my wallet key.“
According to Smith, he had been working on the Bitcoin project for several years, using the pseudonym Satoshi Nakamoto to keep his identity hidden. But then, one day, he lost his wallet key and could not access his own Bitcoins.
“I must have misplaced it or something,” Smith said, rifling through a pile of papers on his desk. “I’ve looked everywhere, but I can’t find it. It’s like it just vanished into thin air.“
Despite this setback, Smith has no regrets about creating Bitcoin. “I may have lost my own Bitcoins, but I’m happy to see the positive impact it’s having on the world,” he said. “I mean, sure, it’s created a few problems, like all these people using it to buy drugs and launder money. But overall, I think it’s been a net positive.“
Smith’s revelation has sent shockwaves through the cryptocurrency community, with many questioning the legitimacy of the entire project. But for Smith, it’s all just a big joke.
“I never expected this to happen,” he said. “I just wanted to create a decentralized currency that couldn’t be controlled by any government or corporation. And now look at it. It’s worth more than the GDP of some small countries. I’m just glad I didn’t lose the key to my Dogecoin wallet.“
Bitcoin’s value reportedly tumbled after the revelation.