Rolling Stone magazine has announced that it is no longer focusing on music journalism, and is instead better suited for wiping yourself after going to the toilet.
The magazine, once renowned for its insightful and informative music journalism, has decided to shift its focus and reframe itself as a “premium wiping material”.
The move comes after the magazine has been plagued by a number of factually incorrect stories and articles in recent years, leading many to question its credibility.
“We’ve been in the music journalism business for many years, and we’ve seen some great successes and some embarrassing failures,” said Rolling Stone editor-in-chief, Jann Wenner. “But the truth is, we just don’t have the resources to be a reliable source of music news anymore, so we decided to switch our focus to something more practical and helpful.”, Wenner continued.
“We want to make sure that our readers have the best experience possible, and what better way to do that than with a premium wiping material?“
The magazine plans to start printing its most factually incorrect stories onto the paper, so that readers can use them to freshen up after a trip to the restroom. Most recently, it’s story claiming that Jeff Beck didn’t have a signature song, despite simple research revealing its Becks Bolero will be one of the first printed on the toilet paper.
“We think this is a great way to get our stories out there without having to worry about getting the facts right,” Wenner said.
Whatever the outcome, it’s clear that Rolling Stone is no longer about music journalism. It’s all about wiping yourself after going to the toilet.