The world is in shock today as rumors swirl that beloved (or tolerable) British band Oasis may be reuniting. Fans everywhere are responding with a resounding “meh” to the news, as the band’s reunion tour is poised to be nothing more than a nostalgia cash grab for a group of washed-up musicians who peaked in the 90s.
“I mean, sure, they had a couple of decent songs, but let’s be real, they were never that good,” said lifelong Oasis fan Michael Davies. “I’m not even sure why they’re bothering to get back together. It’s not like anyone cares anymore.“
It’s true, Oasis has always been a band that’s been better in retrospect than in reality. Their music is nothing more than a watered-down version of The Beatles, and their lyrics are nothing more than a collection of cliches and poorly-written poetry.
But despite all this, fans say they will still line up to buy tickets for the reunion tour. “I don’t know why I’m going,” said Davies. “I think it’s just the idea of reliving my teenage years or something. But honestly, I’m just going to be disappointed when I realize that they’re not as good as I remember them.“
So, to all the Oasis fans out there: don’t waste your time and money on this possible reunion tour. Stick to listening to “Wonderwall” on your iPod and call it a day. Because, let’s be real, no one gives a shit about Oasis anymore.
