Residents of Jackson, Mississippi are in the midst of a dire water crisis after floods in August 2022 affected the city’s water supply. But fear not, dear citizens, for sports drink giant Gatorade has stepped up to save the day with their most generous offer yet: two free bottles of Gatorade per resident.
“We understand that this water crisis is a difficult time for the people of Jackson, and we want to do our part to help,” said Gatorade CEO, Jane Smith. “That’s why we’re offering two free bottles of Gatorade to every single resident of Jackson. Because let’s face it, who needs clean water when you can have Gatorade?“
Critics have been quick to point out the absurdity of Gatorade’s offer, with many questioning the ethics of a corporation profiting from a crisis. But Gatorade is standing by their decision, stating that the offer is simply a “goodwill gesture” and not a “cynical marketing ploy.”
“We understand that some people may see this offer as insensitive or opportunistic, but we assure you that is not the case,” said Smith. “Gatorade is more than just a sports drink, it’s a way of life. And in times of crisis, a little Gatorade can go a long way.”
While the water crisis in Jackson remains unresolved, residents can at least take solace in the fact that they’ll have two free bottles of Gatorade to quench their thirst. Because nothing says “crisis” like a nice cold Gatorade.