It has been revealed that the emo-rock band Fall Out Boy is still, somehow, a thing. Despite the fact that the world has moved on from skinny jeans and side-swept bangs, the band continues to tour and release new music, much to the confusion and dismay of the general public.
“I thought they broke up, like, a decade ago,” said local resident and confused music listener Sarah Jones. “But then I saw them on a poster at Hot Topic, and I was like, wait, what? Are they still a thing?“
Indeed, they are. And not only are they still a thing, but they’re apparently still quite popular among their dedicated fanbase, who can be seen at their concerts sporting Fall Out Boy t-shirts and holding signs with the band’s lyrics scrawled in Sharpie.
“I don’t understand it,” said Jones. “I mean, I guess I get why people liked them back in the day, but why are they still doing this? It’s like, haven’t they grown up yet?“
But the band members of Fall Out Boy have no plans of growing up any time soon. In fact, they seem to be stuck in a perpetual state of adolescence, as evidenced by their recent album release, “MANIA,” which features song titles like “Young and Menace” and “Champion.”
“We’re just going to keep doing this as long as people will still listen to us,” said Fall Out Boy’s lead singer, Patrick Stump. “I mean, we’ve got to pay the bills somehow, right?“
Despite the band’s insistence on continuing to make music, the general public remains skeptical. “I just don’t get it,” said Jones. “I think I’ll stick to listening to my dad’s old Beatles albums.”
So, it seems that Fall Out Boy will continue to rock on, whether we like it or not, especially with their upcoming album So Much (for) Stardust. But one thing is for sure: we’ll all be left wondering, “where have all the good bands gone?”
