A wealthy and well-known celebrity has been accused of breaking tax laws and has been given nothing more than a stern warning and a small fine.
Sources close to the situation report that the celebrity, who has chosen to remain anonymous to avoid any further embarrassment, was caught failing to report millions of dollars in income and using various loopholes to avoid paying their fair share.
When asked for comment, the celebrity simply shrugged and said, “I mean, I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. Everyone does it, right?“
The Internal Revenue Service, who is in charge of enforcing tax laws, issued a statement saying, “We take tax evasion very seriously, but in this case, we decided to give the celebrity a warning and a small fine as a reminder to please pay their taxes next time. We understand that celebrities have a hard time remembering to do things like pay their taxes, what with all the red carpets and free champagne they have to worry about.“
The celebrity’s lawyer, who also wished to remain anonymous, was quoted as saying, “My client is just thrilled to put this whole ordeal behind them and get back to their busy schedule of not paying their fair share.“
The news has left many Americans outraged, with some calling for stricter enforcement of tax laws for the wealthy and well-connected. However, others have shrugged it off and said, “Well, what do you expect? They’re celebrities. They’re above the law.”
In related news, a local schoolteacher who was caught failing to report $50 of income was sentenced to five years in prison.
In conclusion, the celebrity has learned their lesson and will be sure to pay taxes next time, or at least have their team of lawyers find new and creative ways to get around them.